Facing MY Fears – Somewhere in the Middle

Looking over the cliff - Facing MY Fears - Somewhere in the MiddleI’ve been writing about my fears and how God has been stirring up things in me. I’ve been a bit vague – partly because I don’t feel liberty to talk publicly about what He’s doing, and partly because I’m still a bit foggy about some of the details.

Yesterday, I wrote about prayer – and it’s good to get that out in the open. I don’t really know who’s reading all this, but there’s something about putting thoughts down “on paper.” All day yesterday, it was so much easier to pray. It was so much easier to turn off the radio during my 2 hours of commute time and talk to the Lord.

During this morning’s commute, I put in the new Casting Crowns CD and really listened to the words. If you’re not familiar with them, their lyrics are SO amazing. When I got to track 7, God really started speaking to my heart. During the second time I played the song, I began to realize why I’m feeling so out of sorts lately. There was comfort in the fact that I’m in transition into a new phase, or a new chapter of my life. I’m somewhere in the middle.

Check out the lyrics to the song, “Somewhere in the Middle” by Casting Crowns:

“Somewhere In The Middle”

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

This is not a comfortable place for me. My enhanced “what-if” generator has been running for weeks and even my sleep is crowded out by the anxiety mixed with anticipation of turning this new page. What will happen next? What is the timing? What about finances? What about …

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without loosing all control?

Then I take a deep breath.

Lord, thank You for the encouragement today. I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side, loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle.

peace,
e

*Artwork credit: http://nememorifacias.prositen.com/ff8/fanart/index.shtml

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  1. #1 by godalone on September 25, 2007 - 3:12 pm

    Hi there –

    Thanks for sharing your walk so publicly. I understand where you’re coming from re. the “what if” generator (lol) going full throttle sometimes.

    During moments like these, I can only rely on God to pull me through, and He does without fail.

    Check out my blog if you can. We share several similar themes in our experiences.

    Blessings and peace to you -

  2. #2 by Jaqua (Jāy 'Quāy) on September 25, 2007 - 5:44 pm

    Publicly? You mean people actually read this stuff?

    haha

    Thanks for stopping by – and keep up the good work!

    e

  3. #3 by Sue@praise and coffee on September 26, 2007 - 2:02 pm

    Great word! Very real. I love that.

    Sue

  4. #4 by Mike Krone on October 25, 2007 - 12:32 pm

    Probably the single most powerful song for New Believers and men in recovery. “Somewhere in the Middle” is easy for our men to identify to with.

    We are all sinners which puts us all “Somewhere in the Middle.” I recently had a friend go to the Lord. This song helped me realize he is no longer in the middle and now I am at peace with his passing.

  5. #5 by Idetrorce on December 15, 2007 - 8:05 am

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce

  6. #6 by Jaqua (Jāy 'Quāy) on December 15, 2007 - 10:04 am

    I always appreciate visitors’ comments, but I’m not sure what you don’t agree with. I’ve posted plenty of posts that contain controversial materials – end times, eternal salvation, and other highly debated topics.

    This post, however, is my telling how I feel.

    You don’t agree with how I’m feeling?
    You don’t agree that I’m in transition to a new phase?
    You don’t agree that Casting Crowns’ lyrics are amazing?

    Just what is it that you don’t agree with, Idetrorce?

    Can you be a bit more specific?

  7. #7 by Jaqua (Jāy 'Quāy) on December 15, 2007 - 10:09 am

    Very interesting SPAM message by Idetrorce. I found the exact same message in many places:

    http://www.technologyevangelist.com/2007/10/blogger_ads_blog_com.html
    http://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/settlement/about39722.html
    http://www.spatiallyadjusted.com/2006/11/04/esri-web-adf-team-to-start-a-blog/

    After some more digging, it’s a new SPAM bot.

  8. #8 by wmafit on February 14, 2008 - 1:42 am

    thanks you for your genuineness. I too am in the middle of a new phase and coming closer and closer to who God has destined me to be. It is such a scary place and a place of total surrender and faith. It is exciting too to know that God is never dull or boring and is always growing us and leading us into bigger, greater things than we ever imagined… if only we are willing to trust, take a leap, and believe!!! Hang in there brother… we already know the light that is at the end of this tunnel.

  9. #9 by online stock trading advice on January 10, 2010 - 9:41 pm

    Hey very nice blog!!….I’m an instant fan, I have bookmarked you and I’ll be checking back on a regular….See ya

    I’m Out! :)

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